The Mission
by Jose Argao
Summary: An old Shinji/Rei fic I wrote years ago.


Disclaimer: The NGE characters aren't mine (much as I wish they were).   
They belong to Gainax. I didn't write this for profit, so please don't  
sue me. It's not like I have anything to take anyway.   
  
Warning: Trying to read this fic while doing a handstand, laughing   
hysterically, and singing the macarena backwards in german at the same   
time may cause people to think that you are insane.   
  
The Mission  
By Jose Argao  
  
I am sitting quietly in class, but my thoughts are not of the  
second impact lecture the teacher is giving. The same lecture he gives   
us everyday. I already know it by heart and have no need to hear it   
again. For the fifth time I try to concentrate on something other than   
the mission I would be conducting this afternoon, but my thoughts   
inevitably drift back to it. Actually, even in it's earliest planning   
stages, it had always bothered me. My thoughts go back to the last   
conversation I had with Misato before leaving for school.  
  
"Do you understand what you have to do now?"   
  
"Hai."  
  
"Are you sure, Shinji? I don't want to have to repeat myself to you."  
  
"Don't worry, Misato-san. I think I have it down now."  
  
"You'd better. We've been going over this for weeks."  
  
"Don't worry, I know what I have to do."  
  
"Well, if you say so. Just remember how we planned it. If you stick to   
the plan everything will be fine."  
  
"I understand."  
  
"Good, and one more thing. Be careful, okay?"  
  
"Don't worry. I will."  
  
I acted so sure of myself then, but I was actually nervous as   
hell. Not that I didn't trust Misato's judgment, but the whole thing   
seemed so simple. Too simple, in fact. Misato made it seem almost   
routine. But nothing is ever that simple. Everything has it's own   
complications.  
  
Still, I know a lot of planning and preparation has gone into  
this. Every movement, every action, would be planned. Almost every   
complication that could possibly arise had been thought of and dealt   
with. I myself have spent weeks training for it, going through the   
necessary actions over and over again. If I wanted to, I'm pretty sure   
I can recite every step exactly as Misato described it to me.   
  
But despite all the training and preparation, I'm still scared.   
I can feel the fear eating at me from the inside. It's interfering with   
everything I do. It keeps me awake at night, and makes me restless   
during the day. I hear the sound of the bell ringing signifying the   
start of lunch. I slowly get up from my seat, not really sure if I want   
to eat.  
  
I'm about to go through the door when I hear a familiar voice   
calling my name. I know that voice, but I still feel surprise when I   
turn to face her. Not at who she is, but that she isn't hurling insults   
at me right off the bat.  
  
"Hey! Baka Shinji! I need to talk to you."  
  
Damn! She would have to pick today of all days to decide to   
talk to me. I was always trying to talk to her before, but she was less   
than enthusiastic about the idea of talking to a "dummkopf" like me.   
Why would she want to talk to me now? Oh well, guess there's only one   
way to find out.  
  
"Yeah? What do you want?"  
  
"Hikari and I will be going to the mall this afternoon, so I'll be a   
bit late coming home. I forgot to tell Misato this morning so you can   
tell her when you get home."  
  
Great, just great. It's not enough that she treats me like dirt   
all the time, now she's acting like I'm her personal slave or   
something. Still, I guess I should be happy that she won't be around   
this afternoon, It would make my task a lot easier. The safest response   
would be to just say yes.   
  
"Uh... sure."  
  
As I watch her leave, I thank the gods that she isn't part of   
the operation. Her presence would only make it all the more difficult.   
Her going to the mall with Hikari would be a nice break for me. I don't   
want her to know about the mission if I can help it. She's already mad   
at me for passing her sync-ratio. God knows what she'll do to me if she   
finds out about this.  
  
At lunch, I choose a secluded corner of the school grounds to   
sit in. Touji joins me a few minutes later. So far, he's the only   
person outside of NERV who knows about the mission. I didn't want to   
tell him about it, but he noticed the change in my behavior a few weeks   
ago and wouldn't stop asking me about it. Plus, I needed someone to   
talk to other than Misato. Asuka is out of the question and I don't   
think Kensuke is that good at keeping a secret. Hearing him boast about   
the dirt he digs up on NERV can attest to that. I'm only half   
listening, however, when Touji starts talking.  
  
"So, today's the big day huh?"   
  
"Yeah."   
  
"Relax, you'll get through this. Just treat it like any other   
operation. Everything will be fine if you follow the plan."  
  
"But I can't relax. I've been trying to relax for the past few weeks   
but I just can't. I've never done anything like this before. I can't   
help but feel nervous."  
  
"I understand how you feel, but I have faith in you. I know you can do it."  
  
"Thanks, Touji. That means a lot to me."  
  
"Don't mention it. What are friends for?"  
  
I feel slightly more confident after my conversation with   
Touji, but I still feel somewhat uneasy. I spend the rest of the day   
trying without success to think of something other than the mission. I   
tried reading lessons from my laptop, I tried daydreaming, I even tried   
to pay attention on the teacher's lecture about the second impact. All   
of my efforts prove futile, though, as time and time again I find my   
thoughts drifting back to the mission.  
  
Finally giving up on taking my mind off it, I decide to just  
review the plan. Again it strikes me how simple and straightforward it   
seems. Not for the first time I wonder if the plan would really work.   
Misato had been quite confident that it would. But then again, she also   
seemed quite confident that a human being could survive on beer alone.   
I try not to think about failure. Failure is not an option. The   
consequences are far too great. I will succeed. I just have to.  
  
My thoughts are interrupted by the ringing of the bell   
signifying the end of class. On one hand, I'm glad that it will soon be   
over. On the other hand, I'm still uneasy about the mission. Well,   
there's no getting out of it. The preparations have already been made.   
It would not be possible to postpone. I head to a bench outside school   
and wait for the first child to arrive.   
  
Then I see her. The first child, Ayanami Rei. I can never   
understand how she can keep calm under conditions that would break   
grown men. I can see no trace of fear or concern in her face as she   
walks toward me. She probably doesn't even realize the importance of   
the role she plays in this mission.   
  
Suddenly, for no apparent reason, my uneasiness turns to   
sheer terror. What if I can't do it? What if something happens? What   
if I fail? "I mustn't run away" I tell myself repeatedly.   
  
"I mustn't run away. I mustn't run away. I mustn't run away."   
  
Chanting this to myself always helped calm my nerves before,   
but this time it doesn't seem to be working.  
  
I'm so busy convincing myself not to run away that I barely   
realize it when Rei arrives. I look up to find her standing in front of   
me, giving me a puzzled look. The sound of her voice surprises me.  
  
"You wished to see me, Ikari-kun?"  
  
This is it. Now or never. Do or die. Make or break. I just have   
to remember the plan. What was it? Damn, I've been going over it for   
weeks! How can I suddenly forget all about it? Sadly, that seems to be   
the case. I look up at her nervously.   
  
"Um... ah... yeah."   
  
"What did you wish to see me for?"  
  
Man this is hard. This is nothing like Misato said it would be.   
It's not easy or routine at all. I guess I'll just have to improvise.  
  
"Well... uh... I was kinda wondering if you'd like to... um... go out   
with me to the... movies... tomorrow night. You know, like... on a   
date."  
  
"A... date?"  
  
I must be sweating bullets by now. Somehow all the senses in my   
body seem to be momentarily shutting down. Well, I've gone this far, I   
might as well see it through to the end.  
  
"Well... yeah."  
  
She seems to think about it for a while. Why is she taking so   
long? Doesn't she realize that I'm dangerously close to having a heart   
attack here? Wait! She's opening her mouth! She's about to answer!  
  
"I think I would like that."  
  
Well, I guess I should have expected that. I mean, who would   
want to go out with a wuss like me? I'm a total loser! I'm... huh?  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"I said I think I would like that."  
  
That's it. She said it. She said yes. I wasn't dreaming. I   
can't believe it was that easy. If only I had known, I would have done   
this a long time ago. Misato-san was right all along! And to think of   
all the times I zoned myself out listening to my SDAT and dreaming   
about Rei. I could have been with the real thing! I should have known   
better than to doubt Misato. Man, if I were to die right now, I would   
die a happy man.   
  
"Really? That's great! How's about I pick you up at seven?"  
  
"That will be fine. I will be seeing you then."  
  
As I watch her turn to leave, a question forms itself in my   
head. Why wait until tomorrow night to spend time with her? The answer   
is simple. There's no reason to.  
  
"Rei! Wait!"  
  
"Is there anything else you want to say?"  
  
"Yeah. Can I... um... walk you home?"  
  
She gives me one of her all too rare smiles. I would never tell   
Asuka, of course, but I take great pride in the fact that other than my   
father, I'm the only one she smiles for. Even then, when she smiles for   
my father, it's a bit forced. It's only for me that she truly smiles.  
  
"If you wish."  
  
I take her hand and start walking. I can't help but smile   
myself as we walk hand in hand down the road to her apartment. That   
wasn't so bad after all.   
  
Mission Accomplished.   
  
  
  
Author's notes and stuff:  
  
If this fic seems a bit rushed, it's because it is. My   
professors are breathing down my neck to finish my school projects, and  
I was having trouble concentrating with a half-finished fic hanging   
over my head. So I just finished this as fast as I could. Hopefully I   
can finally get to work now.   
  
Please send C&C to ukyo_rulz@edsamail.com.ph 


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